I Wish You Would
by EdibleNonsense
Summary: It's been years since either of them have spoken. One day, Launch gets a mysterious letter in the mail and all that changes. [Tien Shinhan/Launch]


"Shit."

The water glass clattered to the ground in the silent apartment, a few drops falling on the wooden floor. With her slightly shaking hand pinching the picture as if it were going to explode any second now, Launch stared at the words. Flipping it over once in disbelief, her eyes scanned the lettering twice just to make sure she was seeing what she thought she was.

A picture postcard. Of Tien sitting outside.

Sinking into the closest kitchen chair, she propped her elbows against the counter and tried to breathe.

Why now, why him? And who sent this?

Perking up just a bit at that last thought, she scrambled to glance again at the handwriting on the back. She remembered the way he would write in neat block letters, with no difference between uppercase and lowercase. This handwriting looked a lot different, considering it had uneven bubbly letters with a return address barely fitting into the white space.

"What the hell?" she muttered out loud to no one in particular.

It had been a while since either of them had seen each other, way back when Tien still had that capsule house by the waterfall. After that time, they both just stopped. Stopped talking, stopped visiting. Life had gotten busy and other issues, including major issues with intergalactic treachery, had gotten in the way. They both moved around enough that it was hard to know who was the last one to stop the stream of communication. It just happened.

A part of her always thought maybe he just wasn't the relationship type… or the romance type… not that she was overly concerned with the whole magical fairytale romance ideal either, if she were being honest, but it would certainly make sense when confronting the fact that he never seemed to treat her as anything other than a strictly professional houseguest: perfectly diplomatic, without a hint of interest in anything else.

"Shit…" she sighed again to the empty room, getting to her feet. Opening the small fridge in the corner, she pulled out a drink she had been saving for a while. It was supposed to be for her own private celebration the next time she got away with cash from one of her many petty robberies that kept her fed and housed in the city, but what the hell. This seemed more urgent.

She sat like that for a while, sipping it slowly while staring out the window into the dark night and letting herself finally think about everyone she had met over the years. Not just Tien, but everyone at Kame House. Bulma, Yamcha, Goku, Krillin, even Roshi…

She hadn't seen any of them in years.

Not that she hadn't thought about visiting. But something in her made her… hesitate. Maybe it was memories of them that flashed through her mind with frustrated and confused looks on their faces, staring at her as she shot or yelled in their direction. And she had even been a jerk to that one kid that seemed like he was trying to get to know her on the pretense they would eventually get along. Chiaotzu. Even completely sober, she had trouble with spelling his name for the longest time, she remembered with a snort.

_No wonder you two fell apart_, the voice said again, cutting her laughter short. Perhaps she had always known she was the reason for this relationship not working deep in her heart, but it wasn't until now that she was forced to confront it. Clutching the bottle, she tried to focus on the cold feeling of the liquid rather than the lump in her throat that was making its way to her head.

_He had always been such a gentleman about it, too_, she thought with a wince._ Even when I was acting like an ass, he always had something nice to say to smooth the conversation over._

She remembered the time she had suggested, not out of the blue, that they should go off and rob some banks together. Instead of excitedly agreeing, what she had assumed he was going to do at the time, or even rolling his eyes in annoyance, he had merely set the plate he was holding back down and gently declined the offer. No frills, no drama, no lying. He just told her what he meant.

Maybe that was the tough part for her. Being on the run, dodging the police, having random people looking to turn you in for a reward… that kind of life demanded you to stay on your toes. Not necessarily lie, but bend the truth a little. She knew he was trying to go straight and narrow and all that shit, but how could you? It just wasn't safe. Even so, she still wished…

What did she wish? Launch sat there at the table, arms folded up under her chin as if she were trying to sleep.

She wished she could do that. Be that kind of person. Someone who was worthy of love.

The thought came to her suddenly, catching her off guard. Shaking her head once and rubbing her eyes, she tried to ignore it. _That must have been the dumbest thing you ever thought_, she told herself derisively.

Plus, she liked the fun! The excitement, the adrenaline, the heart-pounding feeling of knowing you've pulled one over on all the unsuspecting dimwits that ever tried to get you… she lived for that feeling. Living without that would be a special kind of hell for her.

Groaning once at all the possibilities swirling in her mind, she finally stood up on shaky legs. Staring at the empty bottle, she made the decision to clean it up in the morning. What the hell was the point? Her entire apartment was already full of old boxes and bottles on almost every surface, with her old boxspring mattress being the cleanest spot in the whole area. Settling down on the couch out in the main room, she tried to think about something else. Anything else.

Switching the television on, she sat in silence for a few minutes before the thoughts came crawling back.

_Why not apologize?_

"For what!?" she yelled out to no one but herself. Her neighbors already hated her, so she had zero issues with the 'yelling out loud' part. But the thought startled her.

Maybe it was because of the look on their faces. She hadn't expected to care so much. I mean, that kind of stuff was just what she does, right? After a few months all of them had kind of started to expect it, too. No one would take issue with her screaming at anyone who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time at the farmer's market or at the Tournaments. Or discreetly swiping something once in a while, if she kept her targets small. Sometimes they liked having someone there who was bold enough to not hold back. But it still felt… wrong. Did they trust her? Sometimes she saw glances between Bulma and Yamcha when she was in the middle of an outburst that said differently.

Suddenly, it felt like a lead weight was pressing on her chest. Did they all really think of her like that? Like some kind of crazy, trigger-happy psycho that couldn't listen to reason? But they must have liked her on some level, right? She had lived with them for a decent chunk of time and no one ever told her to leave. That couldn't be it. Right?

Sinking even deeper into the couch, she bit back the tears threatening to fill her eyes. She wasn't one to cry much. Or at all. Maybe once in a while, but it was more often out of frustration than sorrow. But this time, it felt different. She wasn't just sad, she was tired. So tired.

The last thing she remembered before waking up was the drone of the television in the background.

_I'll turn it off, just one more minute. I just want to relax a little…_ she thought, eyes shut and head against the cushion of the couch.

Next thing she knew, she was jolted awake by a particularly loud car horn. The bright light of day was streaming in from the window next to the still-playing television. Rubbing her eyes, she looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost noon. At least she didn't have anywhere to go, huh.

Letting herself relax into the couch, she tried to remember what happened last night that made her so…

It all came back to her in a flash. Jumping up from the couch and kicking a blanket that had fallen to the ground days ago, she walked into the kitchen, trying to turn her attention back to something tangible. Food. Food was good. Focus on that instead.

After haphazardly putting together some kind of sandwich and grabbing the closest bottle of whatever that was cold, she sat on the floor with her legs crossed. Chairs were nice, but sometimes she wanted a bit more room. It reminded her of sitting around that low table in the middle of Kame House, chatting with all of her friends as the waves crashed in the background…

This apartment was in kind of a shitty place of town. And she hadn't eaten with anyone else in so long.

Frowning, she shook her head again. But a small piece of her was already thinking about something wild, as it always did. What if…

Standing up slowly, she searched for where she had put the picture postcard down. She eventually found it almost out of view on the floor, fallen down under the kitchen table. Glancing over it as quickly as she could without lingering on the photo, she found what she was looking for. With a deep breath, she grabbed the bottle she had left on the counter last night, yanked open the drawer under her sink, and gingerly placed it atop the already-full trash can.

She knew what she had to do.

* * *

_Knock-knock_.

Tien's head swiveled around. It was late afternoon, and he had just gotten in from weeding the fields. Thankfully, he had caught the weather at the right time, since it had steadily been raining ever since he washed up and sat down with his daily cup of hot tea. His mind ran through a list of all the people who could be knocking at this time of day, but it came up short. He knew Yamcha had said something earlier about going out to a baseball game later in the week, but other than that, everything else was scheduled weeks in advance. No one was supposed to come today. Even the mailman had already delivered the day's packages.

Putting the tea mug he was holding down, he called out, "Just a second."

Quickly unlocking the two deadbolts on the door, he swung it open as his eyes widened in surprise at the sight in front of him. Standing there in a hooded dark olive raincoat was… her. Launch. The dark blonde ends of her curls were dripping from the rain, and she looked downright miserable. Once the initial shock of seeing her subsided, the first thing that flashed through his mind was that someone was after her and she had chosen his place as somewhere safe to hide. He was about to usher her in when she opened her mouth.

"I, uhh…" Her voice broke a bit, which made him worry. "Just wanted to come by and…" She grimaced once, seeming skittish for some reason.

"Launch," he uttered, saying her name out loud just to hear it. He didn't presume to know why she had shown up out of the blue. He remembered Chiaotzu encouraging him time and again to search for her, but some excuse always prevented him from making a move. Time. Energy. Fear. Her reaction. It felt so surreal to see her face staring back at him, he couldn't conjure up anything to say.

Pulled back to the present by the sight of her waiting for him to keep speaking, he quickly asked the first thing that popped into his mind.

"Do you want to come in?"

"No, no!" She backpedaled, shuffling a tiny bit away from the house. "I just have something to say and then I'll head out."

"Oh. Alright." Now he was really confused.

"I, just, uhh, wanted to…" She balanced on her tiptoes, her gaze fixated on something above the house. Rather than tear his eyes away to see what she was staring at, Tien decided to keep studying her, the way she moved, the way she talked. She felt so familiar to him, even after all this time.

"Well, you know how you were always… trying to discourage me from doing all that…" Spinning her hand around, she searched for words. "Armed robbery and stuff."

"Yes."

"Well! I recently thought about it and…" Grimacing again, she suddenly looked down. It seemed like she was thinking over something private. Tien didn't want to appear impatient or upset, so he nodded once, trying to signal it was ok to take her time explaining. It was very strange seeing her so… unconfident. He had never remembered her struggling so much to get a sentence out.

"I don't want to live like that anymore. And I just wanted to thank you, because I feel like you were the one who believed in me, you know? You never only saw me as a criminal." Like a broken dam, the words finally flowed out of her all at once.

Tien stood for a second in the pouring rain without speaking. Blinking once, the realization finally set in that she had remembered his words to her after all this time. It seemed like centuries ago she had visited him in that little capsule house day in and day out, walking with him whenever he went somewhere and talking about all her big plans. Sometimes when he woke up in the morning, for a split second, he would think he was back there, until he saw the finely decorated room around him. His house now was nicer, without a doubt, but… sometimes it still felt smaller.

Not to say it was all enjoyable. The things that she wanted to accomplish were… illegal at best, and sometimes downright dangerous. Half the time, she talked like she wished she would get caught, just for the thrill of it. He would choose his moments to add a sentence or two of caution, but it would only make her push back harder, like he was trying to challenge her. In reality, it was just the opposite.

"I… thank you." With a thousand thoughts running through his mind, he stuttered a bit as he decided something simple was best.

"Alright," she exhaled. Her voice sounded steadier, with her shoulders finally relaxing for the first time since she started speaking. Damn, was she always so short? She had seemed so much taller to him before.

"I gotta head back now, so I'll get out of your hair," she started to say. "Or, uhh." A snort left her mouth but she immediately sobered up. "Your uhh…"

"It's ok. I understand." It was nice to hear her laughter again.

"Yeah." She tried to contain her grin. Starting to turn away, she pulled her hood up to ward off the rain.

Something about this didn't feel right. "Hey," he called out, stopping her in her tracks. "Are you sure you don't want to come in for tea?"

She stood there for a bit, just looking at him. Her face seemed to be calculating whether or not it was worth it, it seemed like. Maybe she thought it was strange of him to ask? But here she was, drenched and probably freezing. Tien would feel remiss to not ask. Even after they hadn't seen each other for so long.

"Really?" She sounded like she didn't believe him.

"Of course," he replied plainly. She still seemed unsure, with her hands in her pockets.

"Well, I don't wanna be an annoyance if you're already having dinner."

"No, no one's here." Realizing how awkward that sounded, he continued to talk. "Chiaotzu's out traveling around the village, helping people with the crops to package to sell in the city. Telekinesis makes the process go quickly, but there's a lot of people. So he may not be back tonight, either." Hmmm, that still sounded bad. Starting to open his mouth a third time, he was interrupted by her.

"It's ok. You're just trying to make sure I don't get soaked."

"Yes," he replied in a sigh, thankful she had said something before he kept adding to his explanation.

Holding the door open as she quickly hopped in, he noticed her shoes were almost falling apart at the seams. Deciding to file this away for later, he shut the door behind her as she slipped out of the sopping wet jacket. It was dripping onto the ground and she looked at him a bit nervously.

"Should I put this somewhere or what?"

Stepping over and taking it from her, he opened the door and quickly rung it out over the porch, pulling the door closed after. Handing it back to her with a short nod at the small coat closet to the right, he couldn't help but worry. The hair on her arms was standing up and she shivered every once in a while, even though she tried to suppress it. After all, she only had on a black t-shirt and lightweight gray pants, he noted as she hung the coat up.

"I'll go heat up some water," he said, walking towards the kitchen.

"Ugh, thanks. This stupid-ass rain came out of nowhere." Now that sounded more like the Launch he knew.

Gesturing for her to sit down at the kitchen table, he opened the cabinet and looked at his collection. He briefly remembered that she seemed to only like to drink the herbal teas whenever she happened to stay for lunch. Taking out the only fruit-flavored box he had, he began heating up enough water on the stove for two cups.

"I always thought you were a coffee person," he tentatively said, searching for a topic of conversation to fill the awkward silence. "But I remember you liking teas too, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," she replied, her eyes no longer locked on the ground in order to avoid looking at him. "Some of the sweeter ones really hit the spot."

"That's good to hear," he said back, gesturing to the tea bags he was holding.

"Haha, nice!" She flashed a small grin at the sight of one of her favorite flavors.

After that exchange, they fell quiet, with only the sound of rain hitting the roof to distract them both from their thoughts.

"So, how did you find this place?" Tien finally asked, wincing internally at how accusatory the words sounded. She wasn't a stalker, and he hated making her feel like she was doing something wrong by finally coming to see him. Even Chiaotzu had mentioned from time to time that he missed her coming by.

Taking a breath, she took her feet off the rungs of the chair and put them flat on the floor. She seemed to be gathering her thoughts before speaking.

"I, uhh, read the address off this postcard I got. It was really weird, I didn't even know where it came from, but I decided it was worth it to try to… you know, see if it was real." Her voice trailed off.

"Hmm. That is strange." Tien didn't press the subject. There were ways of finding out his address that were a bit less legal, and he had a feeling that she was trying to save face. It didn't make much difference to him, since it was information he would freely give, if only she would ask.

Tien cast his memory back to all the times she had visited, years ago. It was true she had tried to cajole him into committing all those petty crimes- not that it had ever worked, but she kept her hands busy doing other things, too. Helpful things. She had taken a whole afternoon to aid him and Chiaotzu in reconstructing the capsule house that one time after a particularly intense summer rainstorm blew through. She brought presents for both of them on major holidays. Once she even tried to clean the floors while he was out training.

His chest felt tight.

"You didn't send it?" She was completely confused as to who else it would be. Who would even be able to find her apartment anyway? Let alone have the time to look?

"No, sorry." He sat quietly, trying to figure out if she was still bluffing or not. A few seconds passed by where neither one had anything to say.

Sensing the silence growing, she decided the best course of action was to switch the subject, she looked out the kitchen window in back of her chair and mused, "Nice place you got here, too."

"Oh. Thanks." Now his attention was focused on looking out the same window.

"Why a farm, though? Don'tcha want to fight anymore?" She seemed amused, but deep down she wondered if he had really given it up. Of course not, right? That would be ridiculous. It was all he ever talked about the whole time she'd known him. No one just gives up on something they're that obsessed about without feeling some kind of regret. Right?

"I… just decided to think about the future. And I figured I needed some kind of income. It was kind of tiring living in a…" He didn't end his thought so much as try to stop it before its natural conclusion. "A capsule house."

"Oh. I gotcha." Her voice sounded scratchy, which she coughed once to clear.

The whistle from the teapot, in the nick of time, interrupted the two's thoughts. Tien reached over to pick it up.

"Hey, you already have a mug over here," Launch interjected, pointing with one finger to the half-cold drink sitting on the other side of the table.

"It's ok. I wanted to sit and drink with you. I can just pour that out."

"No, I got it," she replied, jumping up and snatching it quickly. Might as well be a good houseguest, right? Underestimating how heavy it was in her rush to complete the task, she vigorously splashed the liquid up over the rim of the cup and on the floor.

"Shit!" As soon as the word left her mouth, she felt mortified by the outburst. This was exactly the kind of thing she was hoping wouldn't happen. Momentarily frazzled, she scanned the kitchen area for something to mop it up with while still on her knees. In a split second decision, she yanked the edge of her t-shirt down and just wiped it off with that.

Hearing the sharp sound of porcelain on wood, she turned back to the table. Tien had set the teas down side-by-side between the two closest chairs, steam still billowing off them. "I could have gotten a towel," he offered, surprise and worry mingled in his words.

"Nah, it's not a big deal. I'm already soaked from the rain." Outwardly cracking a smile to ward off thoughts about whether or not that was a smart idea, she took her seat. The look on his face made her feel on edge. Was it pity? Did he think she was lying? But she wasn't! She really was soaked from the rain, she thought with a shiver, feeling the slick wetness of the shirt against her back.

"Then you should get into clean clothes before too much longer," he said worriedly. His eyebrows were furrowed as he lifted his mug up.

"I, uhh, yeah, I will." She didn't want to broach the subject of how she was living quite yet. Her apartment back home was still a mess, she thought wearily.

"Do you have any with you?"

"Uhh… you see…" The last few hours ran through her head.

As soon as she found the postcard, she impulsively rushed to take the nearest bus route to the row of dirt roads that led to the farm. Throughout all this, she only had taken the bare essentials with her: a bit of food that she had already eaten on the way there, a jacket, and her phone. It hadn't crossed her mind that he would let her in to talk or possibly wash up. Her plan was to say what she wanted to say and… leave. Ironic, considering how it used to go.

"I have some you could borrow, if you wanted to."

"I don't know. I feel like I've already inconvenienced ya enough, you don't have to," she murmured.

"That's not true at all." He paused for a moment and looked straight at her. "Why would you be an inconvenience?"

"I…" She didn't move. His stare was a bit too honest, a bit too open. Anything she said with a truthful heart could only hurt them both.

"Feel free to visit whenever you want." He opened his mouth like he wanted to say more but closed it almost immediately.

"Thanks." Her mouth started to tremble for some reason, so she decided it was best to focus on drinking her tea, taking one big swig of it before setting it down again.

Giving a short nod of acknowledgement, he lifted his tea mug up to drink some more, too. Another moment passed while the room hung in silence, neither one fully comfortable enough to bring up another topic. Launch could hear the creaking roof above her as the winds increased. The storm didn't seem like it was going to let up anytime soon. No way out.

"So, how have you been?" Her question ended on an upnote, as she tried to mask the worry at the incoming answer. Instead of looking serious, Tien leaned back thoughtfully.

"Good. The crops are coming in well. Training has been going smoothly. Not too much longer until it's harvest season, so I have to prepare for that, but it's not too strenuous." Nodding once, he looked at her with an even stare. He seemed satisfied with his answer.

Launch grabbed a handful of her sweatpants under the table and twisted them. She should have realized he would answer about what he was doing and not what he was feeling, giving her no way of knowing what she was dying to figure out. Shit. Rookie mistake. This man was tough enough to read on a good day. Plus, she knew what was coming next and she didn't have any idea how to answer.

"How are you doing?" He gave a faint but hopeful smile.

"I…" Her mind snapped back to her apartment, and in an instant she knew what she had to do. "It's great! Oh man, it's wild but I love it. Tons of odd jobs pop up all around the city and it's keeping me busy."

His eyes lit up with genuine pride. "I'm really glad to hear that." He must've bought it, hook line and sinker. Part of her felt like weeping, but the other half was just relieved.

"Lots of shit went down when I first got there, but I've really settled in." Lies. But his face didn't budge.

Instead of trying to curb her fear of going overboard with this fiction, she leaned into it and doubled down. "The apartment rental thing sucked at first, but now I really like it." So many lies! She hated living in that craphole. And she was pretty sure she was behind on rent.

"I'm so glad," he said gently. And she could tell he really meant it. He was holding his mug with both his hands and leaning into the table, attention completely rapt as she described her life. Honestly, part of her was surprised. She really thought he would have called her bluff by now, but instead he seemed to be encouraged by the fact he had only heard good things so far.

"Yeah, thanks." She leaned back, suddenly hit by a wave of exhaustion. Using the last bit of her energy, she gave him a wry grin.

"That's all really good to hear, Launch." Nodding his head again in understanding, he sat back in his own chair. "If I'm being honest, I was a bit…" He turned his head towards the rain-soaked window. "Worried at first when I saw you."

"Really?" She feigned surprise.

"I just thought you looked a bit tired." Damn, maybe he had noticed.

"Ahh, that's just due to hitchhiking in the rain, you know?" Her mind was grasping around for anything else she could say to take them off this topic.

"Mmh." Now his brow quickly furrowed with worry, being suddenly reminded of her venture and the dripping shirt that was still making a spongy sound every once in a while when she shifted in her seat.

"I mean, it's ok, though." She scratched her head, casually feeling whether or not her hair was still wet and tangled in the back. It was, but only a little. Her clothes were the biggest offender.

"Actually. We should really get you into some dry clothes," he murmured, not meeting her eyes. "Let me go get some." Standing up suddenly, he pushed his chair back with a loud screech and disappeared into the big entrance way hallway and connecting staircase without warning.

Horrified, Launch could only half jump out of her chair in protest before realizing he had already left the room, hearing his footsteps receding. Shit, shit, shit. This was way too much. She had only meant to stay for a few minutes and now it was slowly turning into a pity party.

She felt sick at the thought. Obviously, he was trying to be a good host, even though she had interrupted him on what must be a rare night alone, only weeks before harvest season. Ideas of what to do next popped up in her head like blinking traffic lights. Lie. Wring out the shirt while he was gone and protest that she never needed dry clothes in the first place. Yell and get angry. Run.

"Damn it," she hissed under her breath. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Full of adrenaline, she hopped up from the table and stumbled to the door. With shaking hands, she opened the coat closet and yanked her now-dry coat from it, and whipped back around. Taking a last look at the house, she went to twist the doorknob open when she paused.

There, sitting on a table was a little figurine. He had kept it. All these years.

She walked up to it on unsteady legs, not believing her eyes. It was just a shitty flea market trinket she had picked up on one of her days wandering around a nearby town, a little handmade carving of a odd-colored fish. She had joked it reminded her of the sprawling waterfall outside the capsule house and he had accepted it silently with a hint of a smile, amused at the connection. Like a lot of the things she gave him, she had expected it got put away in some box somewhere and left to rot. At least, that's what she assumed since she had never seen anything emerge from his storage area in his room once she gifted it to him.

In a daze, she stood near the table, staring at it. There wasn't any dust on it. It looked… like part of the decor. Natural, like he had personally bought it especially for the room.

Her fingers reached out and lightly ran along the scales, feeling the tiny splinters of wood that poked out as she did so. None of them stuck in her fingers.

"The wood kept its shape rather well." His voice caused her to almost jump out of her skin.

"I— oh, yeah," she stuttered out. Tien was standing behind her with an armful of folded clothing, staring at the carving.

"It had gotten a bit dirtied at one point and I worried it wouldn't be salvageable, but I tried to wash it off. It seemed to work."

"Yeah, it looks as new as when I bought it!" She hadn't even noticed the small stains along the edges of the gills until she looked closer.

"Good. I don't like to throw any of your gifts out," he simply stated. Lifting the bundle in his hands up, he added, "Here you go. I didn't have many sizes that fit you, so these may be too big."

"Oh, uhh, thanks." Realizing she was still holding her coat, she added, "I was just, uhh—"

"Making sure it's dry?" He knew something was going on.

"I, well…"

"If you need to get back to the city, I don't want to keep you."

"It's complicated." She stood with her arms crossed, mentally rifling through what excuse would get her out the door the quickest.

"At least take these with you, in case you need them," he said, thrusting the bundle of fabric towards her.

"Ya know, maybe I can just…" She shifted back and forth, weighing her choices. It was late enough it would take the majority of the night to travel back, and the busses had probably finished their routes by now. Shit. She was stuck.

"Do you need a ride?" Damn, he really wouldn't let this go. She shifted again on her feet.

"Nah, I'm ok," she quickly replied, her impatience to flee the entire situation building like sparks in kindling. _Just tell him the truth,_ the little voice from before inside her insistently whispered. _He'll understand._

_Shut the hell up,_ she hissed back at it, equally ferociously. She had put herself in an impossible situation. What would he think of her after she had painted a picture of a thriving, albeit imperfect, and responsible life only to hear that she was barely making it through from week to week, let alone being wise enough to plan for years in advance like he so obviously did? For the first time in her life, she had decided to put it all on the line. She was trying, really trying, dammit! But she knew she couldn't let him know just how deep she really had fallen until she had already dug herself back out. The thought of his eyes staring disapprovingly down at her with the same old tired expression made her throat clench up.

"You're sure?" The look in his eyes said he had called her bluff, but his voice sounded extraordinary calm.

"Positive." Grimly, she nodded. Guess she was in it now.

"So, do you need a place to sleep tonight?" He hesitated a bit, letting her know it was ok to refuse. Giving her one last chance.

Her eyes inconspicuously staring at the ground, she nodded once.

"Alright." Only taken aback a bit by her silent answer in the affirmative, he nodded back and squared his shoulders with a sense of finality. With a small breath out, he added, "Oh, here you are, then."

The clothes in his hands were gently laid in hers, which she had tentatively held out in preparation, shifting her coat to under her arm. The first thing she noticed was how they were all heavyweight cotton, not like the usual thin shirts he would wear to train outside. She didn't even know he owned outfits like this, she realized with a start.

"The bathroom is to your right upstairs. Take as long as you need." He stood for a bit, still at the ready, expecting more half-baked questions or dodging on her part.

"Alright. Thanks." Instead, she avoided his intense stare as she whipped past him, taking the stairs two at a time. Slamming the door behind her as quickly as she could, she leaned against it and just focused on breathing in and out.

This was not what she expected to be doing today. Or any day. Ever. Running her hand through her hair, she tossed the clothes on the sink counter and the jacket on the floor as she slumped against the ground.

After listening to make sure he wouldn't hear her, she let herself process what just happened to her. Replaying the conversation over in her mind bit by bit, her hands grabbed handfuls of her curls. Thinking about his calm voice and his eyes searching for something to say made her pull her fists violently downward, hoping and praying the sharp ache would force her back to the present. Instead it just made tears burn the edges of her vision, blurring the colors of the rug in front of her.

"Shit, shit, shit…" she whispered in a panic over and over. What the hell could she do now?

_Just get up, dumbass,_ she screamed at herself, partly feeling like she was floating off in the distance and looking down on herself from above, squatting on the floor like a toddler. _Get up off the damn floor. What are you scared of? This is what you get for going through with this embarrassing plan._

Bending her head to somehow block out the voice, she let a shaky breath out. She had to just make it through the night. One night, that's all. She could freak out once she was sitting on the bus, where she wouldn't care whose scared stare she happened to catch out of the corner of her eye as she did so. It wouldn't be the wildest thing she ever did in public. But right now there was only one stare she couldn't handle.

Rubbing her eyes roughly, she slammed her hand against her knee and stood back up in a huff. Slowly stripping off her shirt and pants, she went to put on the dry clothes. As soon as she grabbed a handful of the fabric, a wave of relief went through her system to finally feel something dry against her skin. Unfolding the neatly crisp dark blue shirt, she whipped it on, easily fitting her head through the neck hole. It was indeed too large; in fact, she had to try to delicately arrange it on her shoulders so it would stay up without showing her bra strap. After three attempts, she exasperatedly threw her hands to the side and gave up.

Next, the pants. They were a bit trickier, as she found out. The gray material hung dangerously low off her waist and pooled at her ankles, but at least they had a drawstring, which she promptly pulled as tightly as she could. Tying it in a knot, she tried walking around the bathroom to test their usability, only to find she almost stumbled and fell into the tub as soon as she took a step. She bent down and rolled each cuff up, yanking them with a bit too much force.

_Calm down, idiot,_ she reprimanded herself. The only thing that would make this situation worse would be ripping these damn clothes.

Satisfied enough, she leaned against the sink again. Turning a bit out of curiosity, she looked at the mirror hanging in back of her.

In short, she looked like shit. Her eyes were red, her hair was out of control, and she seemed like she was catching a cold. _No wonder he had been so worried,_ she thought with a stabbing pain in her heart. She splashed a bit of water on her face and wiped it off with her hands. Running her fingers through her hair, she tried her best to get it back to a less-frizzy state, even if the dirt and dust was still there. Finally, she looked at herself again. Good enough.

With a long sigh, she hung her head.

She stood like that for a while, only expending enough energy to concentrate on the rain lightly drizzling against the window outside. Long enough that she lost track of time until she heard a quick knock.

"Sorry to interrupt, but your bed is ready."

Jumping away from the sink like it had spontaneously caught on fire, she nodded even though he couldn't see. "Ok! Thanks!" In a rush, her words came out a bit too loud.

Alright, time to head back out. Damn, how long had she been in here? Glancing at the window, she noticed with a shock the sun had completely gone down while she was zoning out. At least she felt a bit less nervous now. _Maybe I _should_ take up meditation,_ she thought with a smirk, thinking back to a piece of advice he had given her one time she had been particularly furious over some stupid thing.

Unlocking and opening the door, she hesitantly poked her head out to make sure the coast was clear. Tien's voice traveled out of a doorway a few feet away in a room to the right.

"Sorry to bother you, but I didn't hear the water running so I figured you must be done," he called a bit apologetically.

"It's fine," she grumbled, belatedly realizing she missed her chance to get a shower. Oh well. It wasn't like she was the best at remembering when she was at her apartment, either, really. One more night wouldn't kill her.

"I put some sheets on the guest bed and some extra clothes next to it."

Following his voice, she walked into the small side room and saw him kneeling down. He had also changed into his pajamas and his hands were pulling at the bedspread, evening it out to lay flat. "There's also water bottles downstairs if you need to-" He turned around to stand up and paused.

His face turned the lightest shade of pale pink as he looked at her standing in front of him, and he swallowed hard once, his neck moving slightly. Just as quickly as his startled expression flashed in front of her, it vanished, his stoic demeanor swallowing it back up. "To have something to drink," he finally finished, averting his eyes.

"Sounds good." She watched him closely as he stood up and walked out of the room a bit too quickly. On the way out, out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw him put a hand over his face, but it all happened too fast to tell.

Trying to ignore her pounding heart, she lowered herself onto the edge of the bed, looking around the room. It seemed like a nice place and all, but her mind was a bit too focused on his reaction to really notice anything else about it.

_What the hell was all that about?_ she thought. Looking down in confusion at her outfit, she assumed it had to do with something else. It was just her dirty-ass hair and an old oversized sweatsuit of his. Not exactly cute.

Deciding to put that odd reaction aside for the moment, she focused her attention back on the room.

The walls were plain white with a bit of trim at the edges, and it had a small window facing outside with heavy curtains covering it. Curious, she padded over and lifted them out of the way, scanning the back of the farm area.

Damn, it was expansive. As far as the eye could see, there were neat rows of corn and other plants poking up out of the ground. Even the deck area had green potted plants with what looked like carrots and strawberries. He must have used up a lot of time and effort to plant all of this.

Whistling quietly in appreciation, she let the curtain fall back down. The bedside lamp was still on, but she didn't feel particularly sleepy yet. There were only two other rooms on the second floor, along with the staircase facing the downstairs, which she could see was still lit up. Feeling the carpet beneath her feet, she took a breath in. He must be down there. Something in her told her to stop, but she couldn't. Not while the light was still on.

One footstep at a time, she made her way to the stairs. Then, as slowly and gently as she could, she laid her right foot down on the first step. No squeaks. She repeated the process with her other foot. Still nothing. Silently doing the same thing over and over until she reached the bottom of the flight, she turned her head and scanned the area. The first thing that caught her attention was Tien's back, hunched over in a seat. He held his head in his hands while sitting silently at the kitchen table, with only the light above it to keep him company.

Still lightly testing the floor one step at a time with her feet, she made her way to the entrance to see him better.

He had his eyes squeezed shut so tightly the skin against his forehead was wrinkled. She could see the skin of his lips had turned even paler as he wiped his hand roughly all the way across his face and clenched brow.

She stood holding her breath as she watched him slowly, without opening his eyes, lean back in his chair, letting his head rest against the top of the wooden slat. From where she was standing, he just looked… tired. So damn tired. Her heart beat louder; she could feel it reverberate in her ears.

They both stayed where they were, him leaning back and her hiding, for what must have been a full minute. Finally, she put her hand against the wall, trying to turn around to leave.

_Click._

He shot up out of his chair. Pulse racing, she realized her hand had moved a picture frame instead of grasping onto solid wall.

"Launch?"

"I…" She had nothing to say. Her hands were shaking.

They just stood there, staring at each other's equally wild faces, for what felt like an eternity. Finally, he opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" She had no clue what he was apologizing for. If anything, she should be the one begging for forgiveness at this point.

"Just… this. I wasn't thinking. You probably have to be back to the city by tomorrow, anyway."

She kept staring at him, not moving a muscle.

He continued speaking in a hurry, almost as if he couldn't bare the silence. "Seeing you now just reminds me so much of…" His eyes got glassy but he steeled himself and kept going, words loud and clear.

"All those days I spent not knowing where you were, worried that I would eventually hear something secondhand about you—" he grimaced as he paused for a second and then barreled on, "—lying dead in the street somewhere because you were a bit too reckless at the wrong time, and I would never see you again. And now you're here and…" He stared straight at her.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she saw him look at her with what could only be described as love. It took everything in her to not burst out in tears. She didn't trust herself to open her mouth to speak, so she just stood silently, not knowing how to reply. Blinking a few times, he seemed to have shocked himself back to reality at the sound of her silence, and he hurriedly started to speak again.

"I'm sorry. That was too…" He bent his head, shrinking back in on himself. As much as he could with his stature and frame, anyway. "That was too forward of me. Sorry."

Even though they were only standing a few feet apart, the distance was too much. All at once, something broke inside her. Screw it.

Running across the kitchen floor, she grabbed him and held him as hard as she could, finally feeling his warm body against hers. She could hear his heart beat loudly against her ear as she let hot tears trickle out her eyes without shame into his chest.

She sobbed softly, initially feeling him shrink back from her touch in surprise, only to wrap his arms around her even tighter than she was holding onto him, spreading a blanket of warmth up and down her back. "I'm sorry," she managed to eek out before sucking a shaky breath in.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," he whispered back in a daze, sounding thrilled beyond belief to be holding her, which only made her sob harder. Putting his hands in her hair, he gently smoothed her stray curls down as she pressed against him, inconsolable. He kept his palms there for a while, just holding her head with his warm but hesitant grasp. Then, ever so slowly, he leaned his cheek down on top of her head, fully relaxing into her embrace. She could feel his chest rise and fall as he tranquilly soaked in every inch of her.

"It's not… I'm not… doing so well," she finally sputtered out, wiping her tears on his shirt as she rubbed her wet cheeks back and forth against him. "I lied about…" She cleared her phlegmy throat with a rough cough. "The… the…" Her words got tangled into her sobs and she couldn't stop the hitches in her breath long enough to form coherent words.

"I don't care," he whispered feverishly into her hair, still keeping a steady grip on her as she shook. "I'm just happy to see you again. So happy." His arms circled her a bit tighter after he finished speaking as she could feel her tears dripping down her nose and cheeks, making his shirt damp but not cold.

They both stood like that for a long while, simply feeling the other's presence and familiarity, until she had cried as much as she could, her body becoming more exhausted by the minute. Eventually her sobs and sniffles subsided into the occasional cough and she could breathe evenly again. "Shit…" she mumbled with a stuffy nose, coming back to reality. All the while, he still held her tightly, not moving from his place next to her.

Moving around a bit to break free from his grip, albeit only momentarily, she tossed her head up to see him staring back down at her in confusion. Blushing slightly at the realization of what had just happened, he tried to untangle himself, but she grasped onto his forearms before he could pull away.

"Sorry I worried you like that, I never knew you felt that way." She had no excuse for always running off, but she needed him to hear it.

"Launch, I… "

He felt his mouth go dry. Why was this so hard to say? He hadn't even fully realized it himself until a few minutes ago. Maybe a part of him had always known, even though he struggled to articulate it. But he knew how badly she needed to hear this, and he didn't give a damn whether or not he looked like a fool.

"I love you."

Neither one of them spoke. The seconds ticking by on the clock were the only sound in the whole room. Outside, the rain had stopped.

He could feel sweat starting to form on the back of his neck. Shit. He hadn't read the room right, he realized in a rush of panic. That old familiar fear of never being able to quite emotionally connect with others reared its ugly head. Except this time he had _over_ done it. Shaking a little, he started to stutter out an explanation.

"I mean, you don't have to—"

All of a sudden, he saw her move towards him and felt her lips as light as a feather against his, just long enough for him to register what just happened. He blinked and she was back besides him, no longer on her tiptoes, but smiling warmly upward at him.

Without thinking in the slightest about anything but her smile and the lingering softness on his lips, he bent down and clasped a strong hand on the back of her head, pulling her slightly towards him. Leaning in, he kissed her firmly on the mouth, acting out of pure instinct. Realizing what he just did when he felt her lips move against his in surprise, he instantly pulled back in time to see her cheeks turn a deep scarlet.

"Oh, damn," she whispered shakily, her hands stuck out at her side. Her eyes were still wide in surprise, which made him blush hard in turn.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized instantly, shaking his head back and forth and completely panicking. "That…" Where the hell did that come from? His heart felt like it was about to break out of his ribcage.

She looked halfway between laughter and shock. _She obviously hadn't expected anything close to that,_ he thought, wincing at her reaction. He wished he could disappear.

"Sorry," he groaned, with his knuckles up against his head, pressing them against his now-closed eyes.

"I mean…" He could still hear the embarrassment shining through her voice but now there was something else there. "Here I was, thinking you weren't all that into me, and well…" She grinned mischievously, even though her cheeks were still rose colored.

"Mmh…" He still couldn't believe he had just done that. And not just to anyone, but Launch. Launch! He had known her forever. _But maybe that was why,_ a small part of him wondered.

"I'm… just surprised!" She snorted once, as her voice melodically continued on in a gently teasing tone. "I never knew you had it in ya, Shinhan."

Opting to not speak, he stood there a bit longer pressing his hands into his skin. Once he calmed down, this would all make a lot more sense. Hopefully.

Lowering her voice, she murmured sincerely, "It was really sweet, though."

That only made him blush harder.

Then, she approached him with one hand out, and touched his shoulder gently. Pausing only for a second, she turned her gaze upwards. "I love you, too," she whispered, making sure he heard.

He lowered his hands and looked right back at her, soaking in every second that she was near him. With a small smile, he put his hand over hers and held it tight.

* * *

The two ended up sitting on the kitchen floor and talking through the rest of the night, until the pale light of dawn started to brighten the curtained windows. _Each hour went by too fast_, she thought, caught in a whirlwind of stories and emotions. Bit by bit, they rediscovered each other, which didn't take too long after all. Most of their conversations were about the future, tentative plans that would blossom over time. Neither one was in a rush. Finally, Launch stretched out her arms and stood up, feeling a bit achy from sitting on linoleum for who knows how long.

Yawning once, she questioned, "So, what's for breakfast around here?"

Getting to his feet, Tien rubbed his head and looked around. "I suppose whatever we can find. I do wonder where Chiaotzu is, though. It's not like him to miss a meal." Staring at the doorway, he paused.

"Oh, yeah." Chiaotzu hadn't escaped Launch's mind, either. He never was anything but pleasant and eager to talk to, but something in her felt nervous about seeing him again anyway. Wincing just a bit, she hoped he wouldn't take the news of her visit too poorly.

As if on cue, the two heard the scraping of the deadbolts at the front door. With a flourish, Chiaotzu pushed it open, looking dirty from his travels, his straw hat laid precariously on top of his regular black hat. Staring up at the two standing side by side, he gasped excitedly, eyes shining.

"Oh, did you get my postcard?"


End file.
